I’ve sworn off men. Forever. They’re all assholes and pricks and selfish bastards and bastards and insensitive and assholes and selfish bastards.

Can you tell I’ve been scorned by men? I am a man too but I’ve never purposely went to do something to hurt my boyfriend. I’ve never cheated and sure as hell didn’t steal from them. The only decent boyfriend I’ve ever had was my second in high school but that only went well because we kept our relationship a secret. He was a gay kid trying to masquerade as a straight.

I lost my blow job cherry to him behind the score board and the bastard didn’t even reciprocate. The asshole.

Is it bad that he’s my best boyfriend I’ve ever had?

I know. It is.

Others have cheated on me (that’s the popular thing), stolen from me (my small savings I had for a new car: gone), destroyed my stuff (bye bye grandma’s good china), lied about their job (he told me he was a legal aid but come to find out he was a pizza delivery guy — found that out when he delivered a pizza to my sister’s), and the kicker (the topper of all things ever done) physically assaulted by a shit head.

Aren’t my boyfriend choices awesome? The ones above are just a few of my rockin’ choices in life.

Now to the heart of this here thing. I met someone. His name is Sawyer and he’s impressed me. Why? Because he didn’t try to grab my dick the first time I met him, he game his business card, I saw him walk into a law firm (searched the firm then called to make sure he is who he says he is), and he took me to dinner at the most expensive restaurant I’ve ever been to in my whole life.

We’ve gone on five dates and each one was either just as good as the first or better.  The one thing that’s sold me/surprised me is he hasn’t tried to sleep with me. We’ve kissed but that’s it.

Tonight he’s making me dinner at his place but I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop. There has to be something wrong with him, right?

So far, I can’t imagine or find what that something is but I will figure it out.

I’m sure my therapist will enjoy my reservations about Sawyer. She says I have trust issues and a shit load of other stuff but I’m working through it. She also makes me write in this damn journal every day but it’s helping. I love my damn journal and take it with me almost everywhere.

What? I can’t leave it or someone could read it or something then I’d be horrified and die.

I’ve got to go get ready for my date.

Write you later,

Stefan