Warning: Narcissistic Author Post
It’s a nasty thing called doubt.
This little thing eats away at us no matter our profession. Did I calculate [whatever] right? Should I have done [this] differently? Maybe I should’ve emailed [name] about a certain procedure before handing in [project].
It happens to all of us and trust me authors are not immune.
I can’t speak for other authors but I can take myself for example. I often wonder if my writing is good enough. I’ll write something and think This is crap. It all sucks and everyone will hate it. I should just give up. This happens quite a bit honestly. I also ALWAYS think I take on more than I can manage. So far, I’ve managed just fine and only decided to shelf one anthology call (it didn’t speak to me like the others). My workload is still the same since I’ve added an anthology call since. So, not much has changed there.
I also think I’ve missed something, some crucial point in my characters’ lives, a missing piece that could make the story better. With a series I always worry I’ve messed up the timeline somehow.
Timeline worry is a BIG THING with me. So is making sure a world of mine is kept neat and tidy everything works together. Or you know, I don’t forget something crucial.
Distractions also make things… Difficult. My mind wonders to this that or other and sometimes it takes awhile to get back in to the groove of a manuscript and then I think Well, obviously I’m not meant to write it since it won’t flow. Which is wrong (of course).
Everything all translates into doubt. Self-doubt.
Thoughts of I suck at this, I shouldn’t do this, this makes no sense, why did I do that, no one will like this, I can already feel the bad reviews, everyone will hate this, make writing difficult but then I remember one thing.
I have five things signed with a publisher.
And then I feel better because if I sucked I wouldn’t have five things signed with the same publisher. That just wouldn’t happen.
I’ve come to the DUH conclusion (again for the billionth time) that I don’t suck at writing (although I do suffer from extreme misuse of commas and punctuation in general besides periods and question marks). I’m fucking fabulous.
There you have it. My wonderful Narcissistic Author Post.
What? I warned you.