Characters on Couches…

My lovely wifey Murph dragged me into this blog hop despite being busy. This post is a little late but at least I’m getting it up on the same day as the hop!

The object is to put your own characters through a “therapy” session and pray you don’t die. I first was going to do Graycin and Ryleigh from upcoming release Tell Me So Even If It’s A Lie but then… Animus…  Well it’s Animus and as Animus does he hijacked my train of thought. So then I came up with putting Animus through therapy instead. He’s not a character but he plays a vital role in just about everything smutty or underlying sexual that I write. So here it goes…


“Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. Looooooooooorrrrrrrrrr! Woman! I have a series for you!! Come here so I can smack you with it.”

My eye twitches at the sound of my very hyperactive twink like muse. If I could disown him and leave him tied up on someone’s doorstep I would. To bad the bastard isn’t the size of a baby. Maybe then I’d float his ass down river and pray an Egyptian princess doesn’t pick him up.

“Animus, you really shouldn’t talk to her like that.”

If I said I didn’t sigh in relief as Epicene, another muse, walks in I’d be lying.

“Why not? She’s our bitch.”

Epicene growls in either frustration or annoyance. I’m honestly not sure which. “She’s our voice, Animus, not our plaything.”

I quirk a brow at the newest member of my insanity. Epicene is vastly different from Animus. For one I’m unsure of Epicene’s gender. Epicene is probably the most androgynous person I’ve ever seen let alone met. I’m much too polite to ask about the downstairs plumbing. For now.

Animus, scoffs before plopping on the new sofa.

“You two need to talk this out.” That’s it. Epicene is insane. There’s no other way to describe it. “Come on Lor. Let’s do this. Hop to it.”

“Really? It’s not like I have nothing else to do.”

Epicene gives me “the look” and I cave… after all I can’t afford two angry muses now can I?

Rubbing my temples, I sit on the opposite side of the couch as Animus. Any closer and I’m more than positive he’d slap me. Again. My newest, much nicer, muse sits across from us looking downright determined to settle things between Animus and I… Poor Epicene will be very disappointed.

The three of us sit in tense silence. I am occupied thinking of everything I should be doing, Animus is jiggling his high heel boot (only to get on my nerves and it’s not working! Ha!), and poor Epicene’s shoulders are sinking by the second.

“So, Animus?”

“What?” He snaps making Epicene jump.

“Why do you think it’s necessary to abuse Lor all the time?”

Animus’ high heel jiggles faster in annoyance. “Cause she’s mean, duh.”

My jaw tightens as Epicene’s brow furrows in concern. “That’s bullshit.” I can’t help it. I really can’t.

“HELLO! You whip me and tie me up in the closet!” Animus shouts back. His face flushes red, although I can’t tell if it’s genuine anger or something else.

“You like it!”

“Do not!”

“You fucking lier! Admit it! You piss me off on purpose just so I’ll punish you and shove a dildo up your ass!”

He explodes up from the sofa knocking over a magazine Epicene left out earlier. “Well I’m going to stop anyways ’cause it doesn’t get me what I want!”

I found myself nose to nose with Animus before I even realize it. “And what is that? Hmmm? A cookie?”

He stumbles back from my slight shove, “No, you idiot!”

“Well then what!? Tell me and I’ll do it if it means you’ll be nicer to me!”

“I…” He trails off looking confused. His face flushes more and I find it cute. Sexy cute, the kind of cute you wanna fuck into the couch… Wait a minute. If I were in a cartoon a little light bulb would go off over my head.

A smirk pulls my lips a little thinner. Animus looks at me with pretty eyes and I understand. “Sit.” I order.

“Fuck you!” He snaps.

I take the one step between us and backhand him across the face. None to hard but hard enough to leave a lasting impression.

“Lor!” Epicene sounds frightened.


Epicene immediately complies as if I slapped him… or her. Animus eyes me holding his surely stinging cheek but eventually he too takes a seat. Straddling Animus’ lap I do something I’ve never done before. I kiss him. My muse tenses up beneath me before kissing me back. If I would’ve known he could kiss like this I would’ve kissed him sooner.

Breaking away I groan as he sucks my lower lip into his mouth.


My other muse squeaks, “Huh?”

“Go find my strap-on. Animus needs a lesson in manners.”

The one in question flushes more beneath me and Epicene hesitates a moment as if afraid I’m going to kill Animus but eventually he or she does as I ask.

“You know I’m going to need manner lessons often, right?” His hand’s move up my sides underneath my shirt.

“I’m counting on it.”

SESSION (for you) OVER

About Lor Rose

I am an author and press owner. The articles are posted, the writing is never done, the house is a mess. It's time for a nap.

Posted on Wednesday, October 3rd, 2012, in Blog Hop and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. *snicker* Loved it! XD What a way to teach em a lesson… and oh so much bending of the rules. XD Must admit, I’m curious about Epicene.

    • But by bending them I’ve proven myself crafty! Besides who says us authors don’t need a little therapy every once in a while? Specially the therapy mentioned above?

      Epicene is horrified I posted this… I mean hiding beneath a pillow horrified chanting it’s all a dream… XD What peeks your interest in my Epicene?

  2. Epicene really is the opposite of Animus but I’m grateful…. I don’t think I could handle two of Animus… I’d die or something. Also a very private quiet sort. I really don’e know much about Epicene except he or she is a prude.

  3. Dude.

    I love them.
    Both of them.

    And you.

  4. You had me in the gutter at “I have a series for you!! Come here so I can smack you with it.” XD Looks like Characters on Couches just got literal but it made for a sexy time. I laughed through the entire thing.

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